Dance Moms Season 3, & Some other things...

So.. yeah.

Dance Moms Season 3 is here after what feels like forever.

I just finished watching the pre-show interviews (Smoke Before The Fire) and the first episode.

And as I'm watching new mom Shelly try to fit in with the Dance Moms (especially Christi),  I found myself leaning more towards Shelly's opinions rather than Christi.

And finally, I fully understood why Abby teaches the way she does.

Yes, I FINALLY figured it out after 2 1/2 seasons. ><

After constantly hearing Abby preach about good technique and performance quality and whatnot, and knowing how 'high standards' her dancers are due to her very demanding criteria, it hit me.

The reason she's so strict and always finds the kids' faults instead of praising them, is because she wants them to constantly improve themselves. I guess she thinks that if she praised them too much, it would get into their heads and make them think that maybe, "hey, Miss Abby praised me so I must've done pretty darn good," and if she praised them a lot, maybe they'd think they were already very good and wouldn't put much effort to correct themselves anymore.

So by constantly reprimanding them, she creates this desire and want for the kids to impress her; to gain her approval. And by craving her approval, they would have to push themselves harder and harder every time; thus constantly improving themselves along the way.

Yes, I finally got it.

And to be honest, I would act exactly like how Shelly did.

I mean, she's the new mom, and her daughter just got the lead role in the group number. When Christi asked Shelly to tell Abby that Ally won't dance if the 'angel' role became a solo, of course Shelly wouldn't do it. It's the time her daughter gets to shine and show Abby that Ally is worth it; how could she tell that to Abby?

And Shelly's right in a way; who is she to question the dance teacher? Of course you have to voice it out if the teacher crosses the line, but as of then, it's all good. And I mean, of course I can understand the other mom's dilemma as well, so.. I'm kinda torn with opinions, really. Hahaha. =p

But I just wish Christi would see it in Shelly's perspective though. Of course you could tell that to Abby if y'all have been together for so many years and are practically family, but Shelly is new and you can't expect her to give the same amount of loyalty to the other moms when she hardly know them! 

Which... brings me to my next, rather related topic, to be honest.

If you've been reading my blog, you'll know that in almost every post, there would be some declaration of how much dance means to me. I have never put much thought into it; ever since that fateful day years ago when Lika taught my group our double classes and showed us that ballet need not be all strict rules and CAN be fun.
And yes, you've probably read about that in a few of my previous entries, so you would know that dance is everything for me. I grew up on dance and while I'm VERY MUCH AWARE that my technique and 'size'; if you want to go there, isn't of 'ideal' proportion, especially for my age, it never really bothered me.

Don't get me wrong though, of course I try to take the corrections I've been given and apply them as much as I am able to.
But it never really bothered me that my dance skills are not up to par as others my age should, because here in the small town of Kuantan in Pahang (which, as of 2012, has the population of 366,229 people - Pahang, I mean), learning ballet itself is a rather unique thing, because there are only two ballet studios in Kuantan.

Up till about middle last year, when I started watching Dance Moms, that is.

Ever since I watched that reality show, it opened my eyes to just how talented kids are nowadays; and I'm talking about 13-year-olds and below. The standards have been notched up SO high now, that looking at the girls' dancing, when I was their age, I couldn't do a even a quarter of the tumbling they were doing.

Partly, I guess, due to the fact that I have never danced professionally; it has always been leisurely, also due to financial issues amongst others.

Dancers nowadays, if they want to dance professionally, REQUIRE tumbling and technique classes. I never had any of those.

Dancers who want to dance professionally take at least 5 classes per week, each ranging from 2-3 hours per class, sometimes more. I take 2 classes per week; 3 at most, 2 hours max.

So the more I reality hit me at how far behind I am compared to others HALF my age (of course I knew I was nowhere near as good at them, but this was kinda a slap to my face), the more I ranted about how I wish I could take more classes; how I envied kids whose parents fully support their dance both emotionally and financially, and how I wish I had the chance and had the money to do so.

I was also very aware that the other girls who had been grades below me are in fact, overtaking me now because they were able to afford going to courses and still take classes.

It sucks knowing how much I want to take those courses and continue taking classes as well,but can't due to financial restraints, but I tried not to let that bother me although, very obviously, it did.

Still, though, I made dancing a part of my life wherever I could. I started teaching adults, though it were VERY few.

So I was utterly flabbergasted when my passion was questioned. My first, initial reaction was a blow up. I was close to exploding. Because I thought it was well known the reason why my participation is not as active as the rest. 
But I did not blow up. I bit my tongue and explained.

After that, I myself began to question my passion. I mean I thought I was an okay dancer. Not brilliant, not great, but at least I qualified as a dancer. 

But that statement made me think. Was I really even as 'okay' as I thought I was? Was dancing even suitable for me? (Yes, hearing that now, I want to slap myself.) 
I even had the scariest thought a dancer could have: should I just stop dancing all together?

I started imagining my life without dance in it. I thought of all the weekends I'd be spending at home, doing nothing. Of all the dance shows I'd watch, and started imagining that if I really stopped dancing, how I would react to that.

And something snapped.

I came across the music video of The Script & Will.I.Am's song, Hall of Fame.

Sure, I've heard that song a few times, but when I watched the music video and paid attention to the lyrics, I understood.

My brain literally slapped itself.

"Are you fucking kidding me??" It literally said.




I watched the video; and cried.

Part of me was disappointed in myself; how could I even let such a thought infest my mind?

Stop dancing completely? Was I crazy??

And then I realised: I was just going through what the deaf ballerina in the video is going through. Whispers and rolled-eyes, snickers and sneers. If I give up now I'm definitely going to regret it later.

Moral of the story is, I know I'm still not dancing professionally (DUH). I know I'm probably no where near (farther now, in fact/to be honest) being able to do the kind of acrobatic stunts that are required of a serious dancer.

But I also know that I happen to be teaching. Whether it is just 1 student or 100, I'm still teaching. And that already gives me a chance to dance. Sure, I would LOVE to do other genres of dance. It's DEFINITELY on my list. 

But I know that for a good few years probably, I wouldn't be able to due to my financial crisis. I am also aware that I'm not young anymore, and that the chance of a professional dance career are already out of reach.

But I'm not giving up hope.

Anything can happen within the next few years, so while I've accepted that my performances on stage have been limited, at the same time, I'm hopeful.

As long as I can walk, I will incorporate some form of dance in my life. I will never let anyone question what I love again; because like I mentioned before, I don't care if others take no notice of my efforts or fail to see it. As long as I know that I have put in effort. I won't let others determine if I've put in effort or not, because at the end of the day, I know, and God knows.

Vaganova Love.

Ok, so I'm a little pissed because I've typed up almost the complete entry to this post but then Chrome decided to crash on me and the only thing that 'saved' was my embedded video. Gahhh. =.=


So anyways... The Vaganova workshop was AWESOME. There was 2 Junior classes and 2 Senior classes, but since I registered late, the first Senior class was already full, leaving only ONE more place left for the other senior class. And I was lucky to have even cinched that spot. Also, the rest (Lika, Seow Hui and Ice) had opted to observe both Junior classes, and since the first Senior class was full, I thought I'd go observe it instead.


Hey, at least I'd get something out of it too!


Oh, and here's a little about the Russian Vaganova method:

The Vaganova method is a method of teaching classical ballet that was 

developed by Agrippina Vaganova in between 1922-1951. The Vaganova 

method includes the development of lower back strength and arm plasticity, 

and the requisite strength, flexibility and endurance for ballet. Its technique 

encourages dancers to move their arms, legs and torso together in perfect 

harmony. A strong torso is a necessity for the Vaganova method, as the torso 

forms the foundation of all movements.

And here was the schedule for said workshop:

For a workshop based on THE famous Vaganova Method, the fees are pretty darn cheap. But I admit, I was pretty nervous about dancing in public after about a year's hiatus from dancing. And no, the little dancing in between do not count.


The teacher/choreographers would be Ms Ena Hirose and Ms Jie Choong Wan-Chin.

Sad to say, I had no idea who they were before the workshop. *A*

The hotel was LOVELY, and I took to it immediately upon seeing it.


However when we observed the Junior class the next day, I got even more nervous. It was JUNIOR class, and already the bar was set up rather high. Seow Hui even joked that if THAT was Junior class, she was going to tell the teachers that she wanted to take up Pre-Primary class instead. xD


There was one little girl, though, that I think literally stole the hearts of everyone there. Little Alicia Poh. She was ADORABLE. The smallest of the Junior class, she was also one of the best. And one of the best at the variation they were taught too. I thought it was nice that they taught variations for both the senior and junior classes. Coming from Kuantan, we learn purely from syllabus and have no chance of otherwise properly learning any variation. The variation that the Juniors did was the Cupido variation from Don Quixote. Imagine little Alicia doing that. Eurgh I had cavities watching her. xD


I would post a video, but 1) We weren't allowed to take pictures/videos, and 2) I couldn't find any video in Youtube that was similar or the exact version of what they did. But yeah, search that variation up in Youtube and you'll get an idea what it looks like if you don't already know Cupido's variation.


Later that day was also the first Senior class; the one I would be observing. The things they taught, I hadn't expected any less, what with the grade and all. But what I WAS surprised was that during the variation, they allowed to do en demi pointe. Those who wanted to do it en pointe were welcome to do so, and if you think that you'd rather do it en demi pointe to get the steps first, you were welcome to do that also. So basically they had a choice.


The teachers said that the main aim of this workshop, other than to teach us the Vaganova methods of ballet, were, first and foremost, TO HAVE FUN.

She's having fun. Really.

Me? Heck, did you even have to ask? If I were given a CHOICE, of course I'd do it en demi pointe! xD


The second day, we only had one Junior class to observe, so things weren't so tiring. I was poofed the day before, and I hadn't even danced at that. I could imagine the others who danced. We also decided to take pictures with the teachers, so here it is:

Ms Ena (red shirt) and Ms Wan-Ching (far left)

And although we had literally an entire free day to ourselves, we spent most of it lazing around in the hotel room. Ice, on the other hand, spent it bugging the rest of us that she wanted to go swimming. We finally caved in to her (very noisy) demands at around midday at 4-ish. 


Only to find that:


1. We had to cross the mall to go to a lift that would take us to the pool (and we were clad only in bathrobes and hotel slippers on top of our swimming suits),
2. It was actually Fitness First's swimming pool, not the hotel's itself. But hotel guests could swim there.
and
3. ICE CAN'T SWIM. Yes, the person who had been bugging us since after the Junior observation that day couldn't actually swim.


We also found out, much to our horror, that the water was freezing, and later on, that it was filled with mucus. So we dubbed it 'Pei Si Sui' (Mucus Water). xD It was disgusting, so we never really lasted long in the pool after we found out. And then we also found out that the towels rented had a kind of damp, foul stench to it once it got wet.


Eeew.


On the last day though, and on the day I would be dancing, we found out previously that we'd be doing the same variation that was taught the other day; meaning that we'd be doing Kitri again. So we practised in the hotel room beforehand, and made do with whatever limited space we had.


I was excited to do the variation; it looked fun, although I knew it must have been really tiring because it's so fast.

But come middle of barre work, I was beginning to feel it's toll. one year's absence from dance really had it's effect on me as I felt my legs becoming weak and couldn't even last en demi pointe to do an ecarte.
But come center work, I felt much better. I figured it was the strengthening exercises that took a toll on my old muscles. ;p


I was most excited for variation... which then proved how much HARDER it actually was compared to how it looked. I was tired by then, and when you repeat the variation about 3 times, you get even more tired. And my toes were starting to hurt.
Actually, they felt like they might disconnect from the soles of my feet anytime.


And of course, the only pain I felt were my toes at that time, but I knew that my body had a slow reaction to almost everything. It wasn't until we got back in Kuantan early Thursday morning (around 1-2AM-ish) that I began to feel the pinch. My body ached from my hip down, and I could feel my muscles ache with every move I made. But at the same time, it felt GOOD to feel my muscles hurting. Nothing says 'you worked hard' better than aching muscles to come back to. ;p


P/S: I was lucky this time to be able to find the exact version of the Kitri Variation that we did in class:

And finally, some pictures of us after class! ^^

With Ms Ena Hirose^^

'Sor por' Ice.

With Ms Wan-Chin. ^^

Just thought I'd post this. ;)

If any of you are using Blackberry... Here's the mobile version of my blog! ;)

What A Wonderful Night.

All the worries... All the sweat, tears and effort had all paid off.


Last night's show was a full house, and the response we got from the audience was AMAZING. I wish I could have gotten more pictures of last night; I felt like I wasn't doing it enough justice.


Dancers... Every single one of you were completely and utterly AWESOME. It touches me when we all work together to create something this successful.
Helpers and PA system people.. Thank you so much for your hard work. Without you, the show wouldn't have been able to go on.


And I think everyone agrees with me when I say that we must give huge credit to BigJing who pulled off all her dances flawlessly and with so much energy. 


So, to every single one of you that was involved in the making of this To Feel Again Dance Drama 2011, 


WE ROCKED THE FUCKING HALL DOWN! WOOT~! =D

Ok Go On, Let Me Hear It..

Tell me how lazy I am for not updating so long and for not dancing for so long.
Shame on me. *clicks tongue*


Today marked the first practice of the semester, although the one thing I disagree most about it is that, as it is, it remains the first practice of the semester. And our show is the end of this month. I would have preferred if we had more time to practice though. Perfect our dances and brush up our steps.


But that aside, it was a fun day. I may not be close to most of the people there (the only people that I really hung out with were Dominance, Ah Yang, KitYing & BigJing), when we got together, it was for a same reason: Dance. And for that, we could connect. Because of a same interest, for that few hours, I felt at home in almost a majority of people whom I otherwise rarely spoke to.


And we learnt other dances too. The choreographers of the other dances would teach us some basics, as would we. And most likely laugh at the other person's failed attempt. xD All in good humour, though.


But the one thing I wanted to highlight here is an irony. You see, with quite a number of people pulling out of the drama this semester due to different reasons, the storyline has been changed. And in this case, the point I wanted to specifically highlight was the fact that: KitYing is no longer the 'mother', but the 'friend' who loves dancing, but isn't good at it at first. So, because of this new storyline, we were required to come up with a new choreography and song, since it wasn't a 'sad' scene anymore, and they weren't 'mother and daughter'. So while the others were practicing their parts, BigJing, KitYing and I listened to songs to pick one that we think would suit the scenes.


The irony here is the song that we agreed on for the scene where KitYing supposedly was practicing and fell, and was on the verge of giving up.


It was Kiss The Rain by Yiruma.
Gino's Song.


I knew that particular scene was going to be special for me, but it hadn't really dawned on me until right before we went back, when BigJing and KitYing danced in front of everyone. When KitYing danced to the music in her scene, I felt choked up. It all came back to me again.


A dance about a girl's passion of dance, and of her disappointment of not being good enough. It sounds all too familiar. And the girl who helped the other girl to have confidence in herself; in my case, it was Lika (yes you, my bitch. xD). Gino, it's times like these that I wish you were still here.. I would have called you or at least messaged you and told you all about it. I would have shown you some of the steps when I went back to Kuantan. I know you would have definitely disapproved of the late practicing though. One month is too little for you as it is. Asking you to come back is, of course, unrealistic. But I still wished I could ask that of you.




When everyone started applauding both of them during the climax of the music in the second half of the scene (to a different song), I couldn't help but beam at them. I felt proud, they were both so hardworking and dedicated. I may not have done much (they came up with most of the choreography by themselves, actually), but still, I was happy and proud that their dance earned compliments everywhere. They deserved it.


I would have uploaded the videos I took, but that would give away what's in store for the dance drama. But I guess.. A non-related pic or two wouldn't hurt? ;)

EDIT: Ok, I couldn't resist. I've posted up the video of KitYing dancing to Yiruma's Kiss The Rain. After watching it countless times, I couldn't resist. It was just too inspiring not to. =]

What Else Could This Be About?

If you've been reading my blog, I will spare you the bore by even mentioning what I've been missing.
But yeah.

Yesterday, we (as in my house mates and I) were supposed to bath and go to McD for wifi, since our house is still depleted of internet (and Chua next door has been so nice to us to give us stuff and let us use his internet temporarily).
But then, Rachel and Shangaree got too caught up dancing to Indian songs that the plan was canceled in the end because it was too late already. LOL. Their dance was hilarious, and I would have posted it here, but they'd probably come after me with a parang and cincang me to make human curry.
So yeah.

xD

Something We Dug Up

Sooooo... Dancing, crapping, and a whole lot of other things aside, there were a few of Mr Gino's old stuff from the studio that Lika dug up and showed me.


Most were his old dance Gazettes, such as this one...

This Dance Gazette goes as far back as 1983!

Most of it though, were his music sheets and booklets from the musicals he's done back in the days.

He looks so short in comparison to the other guys.. xD

I may not have known him as well as others have, but it sure doesn't stop me from feeling proud of my Ballet teacher. ^^

Heehee. =B

 Yup, that was how long ago it was... 

Aww, one of his friends even autographed his booklet!

I'm so proud of my teacher~ *sniff* lol.

Oklahoma. One of the plays he mentioned to us most. ^^

Yay Gino~!^^

After all that digging up and looking through Gino's old stuff, we started talking about him again over lunch, remembering when we just found out about his condition. I was in uni when she called, and it had only been the second month that I was away, which gave quite the blow. It just shows how much can happen within such a short period of time, and why we should live each day to the fullest.

Oh yeah, I never mentioned what one of the reasons were for me going to the studio that day: to ask Lika for help in choreographing this dance I had to choreo for the upcoming Dance Drama in uni.

And if you know the things Lika and I tend to come up with... well, you know you'd be in for at least a smile. =p

I ish Happy. ^^

Finally, after many failed plans to go to the studio, we (Aimi and I) were finally able to do so today.^^


When we arrived, however, we saw Chin Eng and the rest of the SRC members (and some other people too) in the studio. They weren't dancing; instead they were sitting in a circle, discussing something. We later found out that they were discussing about the Utar Ball for next semester. Anyways, since they were using the studio, I decided to join Aimi at the gym while waiting. So I used 2 machines... that left my leg shaking by the end of it. :P


After they left, I immediately charged into the studio (ok, maybe not quite.. =B ), and put the Dance Drama CD on while I warmed up. Aimi came in the studio soon after, and joined me dancing for a while. But mostly she just sat and recorded/took photos of me. =3


Our slot was supposed to be from 12.45-2.45, but we entered late (around 1.30), but thankfully, the caretakers of the gym wasn't there when out time was up, so we just stayed there and (in my case) continued dancing. We managed to sneak about 40 minutes in before we decided to leave, in case one of the caretakers came back and happened to check the register. ;D


Then later around 6pm, Aimi and I went to Westlake Gardens to jog.
Ok, so we didn't really jog.. More like brisk-walked. =p
But we met Max and Davin there, who were jogging past, and Davin waved and shouted out an "ANNYEONGHASEYO~!" as he jogged past. Lol. I find that so funny and cute. x]


So yeah, I feel great because I exercised, but on the other hand... The food we consumed later probably made our weight no more difference than it originally was. Eek. >_<

I Missed These.

While I was back for to do a write up for my 3rd PhotoJR assignment, I got to spend the whole day at the studio.
And how I've missed it.
The best part? I brought my baby with me. ^^
And by that, I mean my Canon 1000D. x]


So other than the necessary photos I had to take, needless to say, I ended up snapping away that by the end of the day, I took over 150 pictures. So I guess.. It's safe to say that this post will be a picspam? ^^ *points below*


P/S: Of course I'm not gonna upload all 150 pics.. that would kill my internet.

~END~

After 4 Months...

I finally went back to the studio! ^^ Late, as per normal (*guilty grin*), but hey, I had a good excuse. Flu the night before, so I wanted to rest in a little more.
And not that I could not go, anyways. I was too excited to see everyone again.

I arrived during Grade 7 - Seow Hui, Penguin, Xing Ying, Kai Hong, Charnita - and, the newest (though not exactly 'new') member, Ice. The most kecoh group. Plus Mahgaret. Thanks to her, everyone calls me Kisstel now, even Dhivya. Fml. x]

After that class, Seow Hui, Mahgaret and I went to Frankie's Sandwich Cafe (who knew that such a heavenly cafe even existed in Kuantan??), because Mahgaret said that she heard that the sandwiches there were delicious with a capital D. So I dumped my lunch which I brought to the studio (rice that daddy bought) for sandwiches.
I'm evil, I know.

I actually have more pictures from Frankie, and I would upload them all, but the photo uploaders are being a retard and I can't seem to upload them. =_="

Anyways.
Not much has changed, only the students whom 4 months before I saw were little munchkins, have now grown taller. I also helped teach Grade 4 (GOD I miss teaching...), and a little of Primary (Iris, Agnes, and Amanda's class).

A little excerpt of the Primary class:

A will be going to the studio again later in the afternoon; and this time, more of the 'old' students will be there. Can't wait! ^^

Yay~ Good News! ^^

I GOT IN THE DANCE CLUUUUBBBBBBBBBB~!!!


That is all. =3 xD

We Want Nobody, Nobody But Chu~

I went to the studio today to help out with the dances for the upcoming bridal performance in ECM. Which, unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to attend because I'll be back in Kampar by then.

When I arrived, I could hear Nobody blasting from the speakers, and the children's synchronized clapping. I smiled to myself; I could even hear some of them singing along. No wonder the music sounded so loud - Seow Hui was teaching them outside the studio; in the hallway. Most of them smiled when they saw me, and I went to help Seow Hui with teaching.
The dance was very easy to follow; after all, she had to choreograph a dance that Luvena would be able to follow.

When Seow Hui asked those who still weren't sure of the dance to come out and teach them separately, she asked me to handle the rest. When she left, the girls who knew me, Gina, especially, eagerly moved forward and I heard a distinct 'yay~' somewhere.

Well, I don't have much to write about, so I'll let the pictures and videos do the talking, yes?