It sucks, let me tell you this.
It sucks to have to rely on someone else for financial support, especially when you know that 95% of that chance is negative.
It sucks, that you have to rely on your dad, who takes close to no interest in helping you finance the things you love, just because it's 'future is not very bright'.
It sucks that going for this course would mean so much to me, because it will definitely help in my teaching and technique, but of which I am unable to attend because I'm literally broke; all my savings have gone to accommodating myself to other such events in the past.
It sucks because I know that ranting will get me nowhere, but I was hoping that maybe it might make me feel a little better afterwards. And I MAY, but I know that when the date draws closer, I will start feeling upset again.
It sucks when you want something that's once-in-a-lifetime so badly, but you just have to take a back seat and watch it all unfurl before you without participation.
This sucks balls.