I have stopped properly dancing ballet for about a year now.
But I've only recently come to terms that since then, I'm a 'former ballerina', and a 'former part-time ballet teacher'. It kinda feels weird to admit that, because almost all my life, I've been a ballet dancer; and now I'm a 'former ballerina'?
Ouch.
As sad as it is, I know it's true. Yes, I still occasionally dance when I go back to Kuantan and sometimes in the studio in the gym room, but it's not a proper dance session. There is no teacher to supervise me, to correct me.
The students of course still remember me when I'm back home, and to them (bless them), I never left as a teacher. Sure, I was away for most of the time, but they still thought of me as their teacher. Hearing that (through chat, as sometimes they chat with me in Facebook) they still remember me and even miss me makes it a bit more bearable.
It's still hard to believe. Only when I start dancing with an instructor or start doing my CBTS would I consider myself a ballerina again. It wouldn't be proper to claim myself that otherwise, because I've not danced for over a year already.
I'll always be a ballerina at heart, but until I start training properly with a proper teacher again, I'm officially a 'former' ballerina.
