November 25, 2012

*insert expression of utmost belief here*

Wow. I'm speechless.

And for the first time (not in my life, but where my passion is concerned), it's not a good kind of speechless.

I feel like I've been betrayed constantly time and time again that I'm surprised I still get so surprised by it.

I really want to keep doing it, but it's hard when what you do is not even acknowledged, and you're treated so differently.

I do ONE thing that apparently stands in the way of me being actively involved, and I get isolated like this. When I DO participate actively and pour my time and blood and sweat into it, it gets overlooked and I still don't get recognition for my contributions.

Well I'm sorry I don't have enough money like the rest to continue my classes. I'm sorry I can't afford to go for courses and extra classes to 'better myself' up. Tch, if I HAD the money, you wouldn't even have to ask; the moment there's an opportunity, I'd grab it before you can even invite me.

It's VERY hard, I must say. When you're trying your best to get involved any way you can, but no one is taking you seriously, and they're instead treating you like you yourself had opted out.


The circumstances forced me to add another commitment into my life, in which you were the one who suggested in the first place.

I wanted to focus solely on what I love; it's the MAIN reason I stopped uni in the first place. But because it couldn't support me and my dad has been constantly on my case to get a 'better, well paying job', I was forced to put my commitments someplace else.

This situation is making me dread practises. But I know that I still LOVE my passion... if possible, even more so. It is the SITUATION that makes me dread it.

Also, what happened to all those talks from before in which you apparently 'stroked my ego' and compared me with the other? Where was the truth you told me passion-wise? Because I sure as hell ain't seeing it now.

I'm not sad, I'm not angry. I'm FUCKING DISAPPOINTED.

And you of all people KNOW that I hate people beating around the bush; if there is something that you're not happy with, fucking TELL ME.


우리는 그렇게 가까이하는 데 사용하지만, 그 날 후에 내가 녹음 시간을 착각하면 일이 예전의 상태로 돌아갈 수 없지 있습니다. 미안 해요, 심지어 내 결백을 보여 주겠다고하지만 이후 매우 다르게 나 치료를했습니다.

이 모든이 끝난 후 내 말 명심하게, 난 당신을 앉아이 이상 수행을 함께 얻을거야. 난 병이 모든 치료 빌어 먹게 피곤해. 이 유적의 관계를한다면, 그럴 수. 적어도 나는 정직이고 실제로 문제의 하단에 가져 오기를 원했습니다.