May 31, 2010

Performance practises again

I feel sorry that I wouldn't be able to be there for their performance next week.
Things have changed so much since I left. There are so many new students, and it feels like I'm the one who has to get to know them now, not the other way round.
Yes, they still call me 'teacher', but I feel so disconnected to them now. I don't teach them anymore; Seow Hui does. She's become one of the real teachers, while I'm just someone who comes in when I happen to be on break. I used to 'freelance', if you will, though not anymore. I was gone for 5 months, and already there are so many new faces.
They warm up to me pretty quickly though, but that's not the point.
I want to teach again. I want to be able to reconnect with them, and rebuild that rapport. Now, they only see me a few times, and I'm gone again. I come and go. I want to somewhat be a permanent teacher in these students' lives.
I miss it.

'Teaching' Max (and now Edward) are not the same, although fun nonetheless. It's bittersweet when you leave them, then come back to find how much they've grown in that short period of time. I almost feel.. motherly about it.

*cough* Now that I've emo-ed enough, on to the videos and pictures^^