If you don't already know... We're having a concert this Sunday, 16th December 2012.
It will be our first concert without Mr Gino, and I can tell you, things couldn't be more different.
What do I mean by 'different' exactly?
In every sense, really. So very different.
But I shall not dwell on that, because if I do and I get carried away, this entire post will be about why it's so different.
And I do not want to do that, because there is this... emotion in me, if you will, that is not very stable at the moment, and I'm afraid that if I don't control it, I might burst out and cause a ruckus.
Another thing related to what I'm about to post would be this: The fact that whatever left of the younger students who have also grown up with Gino; as in those who had been taught by Gino since they were in Pre-Primary up to his death, is probably the only thing I have left; whatever little 'grasp' I have of the old times, basically.
For me it just creates a kind of 'bond', if you can call it that, between me and the students because they know Gino and have been under his teachings as well, so they'd know and understand what I mean when I mention something about the old times.
They are also the only people who have not changed since the good old times... in a good way.
If you have been reading my blog or know me, you'd know that I have a solo this upcoming concert. Unfortunately it's merely a simple choreography, because I didn't have the time to choreograph a proper one due to my other inclinations.
That, and I admit that I'm horrible at choreographing.
So naturally, I get a bit self-conscious when I dance it out in front of everyone during rehearsals. And it wasn't until about 2-3 weeks ago that I 'finished' my choreography.
Thankfully though, by the time it's my turn to dance, not too many people are watching because they'd either be busy getting ready for their numbers or doing some other stuff.
And since then, every time I finished my number, there are these 3 kids who never fail to clap for me: Michelle, Irene, and Loi Eean. And sometimes, the Intermediate Foundation girls as well.
What's the big deal, you ask?
There were no claps for the other dances. Not unless one of the 'teachers' asked them to clap.
They would grin the kind of grin that let you know they truly liked it, and clap the moment I took my bow.
It's nothing much, but little kind gestures and acts like these really get me because I'm a big ol' sappy woman. When they clap, I smile at them, hoping they'd get the message that I was thankful for them being supportive of me.
It means a lot when someone is sincerely supportive of me or appreciates me, regardless of age. I've always yearned to be more than just 'a teacher' (if you really COUNT me as a teacher, that is *eyeroll*). I want to be someone they look up to; not just in dance.
So when they clap for me... Although I know that the standard of my dancing is really low compared to others my grade, but as they grin at me as they clap, I'm kinda hoping that in a way, I'll inspire them. If not in dance, then in one way or another.
So if you ever happen to come across my blog: Irene, Loi Eean and Michelle... Thank you.
It may not mean much to you, but know that your little gesture means something to me. Even more so at this time when there's something internal going on for me. You know not of it; and I'd like to keep it that way for now, so just.. thank you.
I love you girls!