4th year on, and I still fall into heaving sobs when I hear this song. The song itself hit home hard, and the video makes it even worse. The way Christina got the news in the MV was more or less the same way I received my news; only mine was by phone. (I will spare you the agony of re-living my story all over again... so if you want to know/read about my story, you can go here.) Not having the chance to properly say goodbye to someone very dear to you is the worst thing ever. You tend to go through all the things you wish you had the chance to say, thinking that you could say it next time. That, coupled with very dear memories, is literally sucking the life out of me whenever I hear this song. If I allow it, I could probably spend a good hour or so crying. Yes, even now. It's something that hasn't happened to me ever before this.
Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm
Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you're gone
And I'll never get to show you these songs
Dad, you should see the tours that I'm on,
I see you standing there next to Mom
Both singing along, yeah arm in arm
And there are days when I'm losing my faith
Because the man wasn't good he was great
He'd say music was the home for your pain
And explain, I was young, he would say
"Take that rage, put it on a page, Take the page to the stage, Blow the roof off the place"
I'm tryna make you proud
Do everything you did
I hope you're up there with God
Saying that's my kid
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
If you could see me now would you recognize me
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me
Would you follow every line on my tear stained face
Put your hand on a heart that's was cold
As the day you were taken away
I know it's been awhile but I could see you clear as day
Right now, I wish I could hear you say
I drink too much and I smoke too much dutch
But if you can't see me now that shit's a must
You used to say I won't know a winner until it cost me
Like I won't know real love till I've loved then I've lost it
So if you've lost a sister, someone's lost a mom
And if you've lost a dad, then someone's lost a son
And they're all missing now, and they're all missing now
So if you get a second to look down at me now
Mum, Dad, I'm just missing you now
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
If you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Oh... Oh... Would you call me a saint or a sinner?
Would you love me a loser or winner?
Oh... Oh...
When I see my face in the mirrorWe look so alike that it makes me shiver
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Oh...
You could see, you could see me now
(You could see, you could see me now)
I remember one of my Facebook friends shared this, and I took a listen. The moment I realised what the lyrics were, I cried. And I can tell you that I cried rather loud tears. .. alone, of course. Today, it's been raining the whole day, and this song was on my playlist. I felt my heart tighten and had to force back tears. It feels even more melancholy listening to it when it's raining.
It's the 4th year, Mr Gino. And I still miss you like crazy. T____T
