February 16, 2010

The Memories Are Here To Stay.

I met Lixian at ECM today. She was with Carlmin and another girl.
The moment she saw me, I noticed that her eyes became teary.
She had even admitted so herself.
We hugged, and whenever we look at each other, if even for a few seconds, the tension would be too much and either of us (me, mostly,) would look away, laughing.

She told me that just looking at me makes her want to cry.
Of course, the same can be said for me.

You are missed, Mr Gino.
Still are.
And I think you will be for a very long time.
Neither of us got to say goodbye or thank you.
Why did you have to leave so fast? Your jokes and quips still echo in my brain; the messages you sent me when I was in Kampar have been etched in my mind, and I find myself re-reading it every so often.
Whenever I come across your name under my contacts, I pause.
Sometimes, I feel like just sending a message to the number, just for the heck of it, hoping that somehow, you might be able to read it.
But I know better.

You told me that when I came back to Kuantan and came for class, you'd conduct a class in classical Thai for me.
You promised...

You should be sitting at the teacher's table, one leg resting on the table as you have always did.
You should have been sitting there, scolding us whenever we made mistakes. You should be there, telling us time and time again to throw all our worries at the door when we come for class, because dancing is supposed to make us happy.
You should have been here to pressure us all because exams are coming, and scold us more than usual because you want us to do well.

We've heard all those a thousand times, yet, I don't think we mind hearing them again.
Just so we know that you're still here.
Just so we know that we still have you.

It would be selfish of me to want you to come back, but I think it's not too much to ask, however, if I say that although you are in a better place now, please continue to look over us, your students.
No matter how much we've grown or whether we're adult or children, we'll still need your guidance.
A little nudge from you, maybe, telling us again to leave our problems outside the studio door, and come for class with a light heart and smile.

This song is for you, Mr Gino.

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