June 25, 2011

*Wipes tear*

These 3 days, we're having intensive practice for our dance drama. Most of the dances are done, and all that's left to do is polishing and getting the placings right on the actual stage.

I've mentioned in the previous post that Kityin's part made me all sappy and choked up. But for some reason, yesterday, when I watched Ah Yang's choreography to Wedding Dress, I got choked up as well for some reason. Tears actually welled up in my eyes and I had to blink it back.
I dunno, I guess I got a bit overwhelmed by it all.

I thought back to Gino, and how he would be proud to see all this. And when I watched Kityin dance her part again today, with full emotion and everything, I felt the tears well up again. I still feel my throat tighten now, as I write this.

The reason why it touches me so much is because I went through the similar situation as Kityin. All the years in my ballet class, I was one of the 'bad dancers'. Even when my passion grew, I still couldn't seem to be as good as my friends. I tried and tried, but I just couldn't seem to get it right. But then again, it was because I didn't let myself fully 'feel' the dance. I was too shy to, since I was called all sorts of things in class ('fat' hit me the hardest). Try as I might, I apparently didn't have what it took to be as good as the rest.

But when the passion began to hit me full force, and I just let that lead me, I improved. I'm not saying I'm 'Ms-High-And-Mighty' and whatnot, but I wasn't as bad. Lika was literally BigJing's role (Laura), because it was her that encouraged me to dance and made me love it so much that I couldn't live without it now.

Then when we were getting close to Gino, he passed away without me being able to say goodbye.

I still AM not the best dancer; in fact, I'd readily admit that BigJing and Kityin are probably better than me. Their spirit and dedication inspires me, in fact. they keep practising when others stop to rest... especially BigJing. She has to dance the most, and yet, when everyone is down and resting, she practises by herself.

Maybe it's the ballerina spirit and dedication, maybe not. But whatever it is, know that you both inspire me and made me realise what it takes to be a real dancer. ^^

BigJing & KitYin

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