Lyrics:
너를 위한 길이 하나 있다면
그건 지금 바로 너 안에 있어
그렇게 더 견뎌낼 수 있다면
이곳에 너의 모든 걸 맡겨 봐
Holding you, holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
천천히, 더 천천히
네 맘속에 강은 흐르고
Holding you, holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
기다림, 그 기다림
그때는 내가 있을까
널 향해 내 맘을 던지고 싶어
언제나 내가 널 느낄 수 있게
그렇게 더 견뎌낼 수 있다면
이곳에 너의 모든 걸 맡겨 봐
Holding you, holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
천천히, 더 천천히
네 맘속에 강은 흐르고
Holding you, holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
기다림, 그 기다림
그때는 내가 있을까
Holding you, holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
천천히, 더 천천히
네 맘속에 강은 흐르고
Holding you, holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
기다림, 그 기다림
그때는 내가 있을까
Eng:
If there’s a road that’s made only for you
That road is inside your pure heart
If you can endure through this pain
Then just put your soul into trusting..
Holding you holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
Slowly, slowly, the river flows in me
Holding you holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
Longing, waiting more, would we be there?
I would give my whole heart only to you
So that I can feel you always
If you can hold on into it just a bit longer
Than try to put your heart into it
Holding you holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
Slowly, slowly, the river flows in me
Holding you holding you
It’s in you, river flows in you
Longing, waiting more, would we be there?
December 17, 2010
Yiruma
I just fell in love with Yiruma all over again, this time it's because of the vocal version of River Flows In You.
December 16, 2010
It's Been A While.
But I still do cry at the thought of you.
I'll never forget that call I received on February the 10th... The call that would somewhat change my life.
Whenever I feel upset or need guidance, my heart sinks at the thought that you are not around. At times when I need advice; be it on dance or life in general, I no longer have anyone close to turn to. You always had a way with words.. And a way with names. Haha.
The thing that still never fails to make me cry is the fact that you referred Lika and I as your 'daughters', and we never found out until after you were gone. Lika had to find it out from Norma, and when she told me, I was out with some friends having dinner. I will never forget that moment either; I had to try so hard not to cry there and then. I couldn't talk for a while, and some tears actually surfaced at that time, but I hurriedly wiped them before they could fall.
Everytime I hear Kiss The Rain, I think of you. Is it foolish, then, that whenever I hear that song, somehow I think that you're giving me a sign that you're watching over me?
And the other day, when I saw that beautiful rainbow in Kampar.. Days after I asked you for a sign.. Would it be foolish if I believed that it was really you giving me a sign; a symbol of hope, maybe?
Anyways, I'm determined to learn KTR on the piano, no matter how long it takes me.
So I can play it whenever I feel like it, and somehow, I know when I do, I will feel a sort of attachment to it; to you.
I still miss you. And I know for a fact that Lika does too.
And the other day, when I saw that beautiful rainbow in Kampar.. Days after I asked you for a sign.. Would it be foolish if I believed that it was really you giving me a sign; a symbol of hope, maybe?
Anyways, I'm determined to learn KTR on the piano, no matter how long it takes me.
So I can play it whenever I feel like it, and somehow, I know when I do, I will feel a sort of attachment to it; to you.
I still miss you. And I know for a fact that Lika does too.
December 10, 2010
I ish Happy. ^^
Finally, after many failed plans to go to the studio, we (Aimi and I) were finally able to do so today.^^
When we arrived, however, we saw Chin Eng and the rest of the SRC members (and some other people too) in the studio. They weren't dancing; instead they were sitting in a circle, discussing something. We later found out that they were discussing about the Utar Ball for next semester. Anyways, since they were using the studio, I decided to join Aimi at the gym while waiting. So I used 2 machines... that left my leg shaking by the end of it. :P
After they left, I immediately charged into the studio (ok, maybe not quite.. =B ), and put the Dance Drama CD on while I warmed up. Aimi came in the studio soon after, and joined me dancing for a while. But mostly she just sat and recorded/took photos of me. =3
Our slot was supposed to be from 12.45-2.45, but we entered late (around 1.30), but thankfully, the caretakers of the gym wasn't there when out time was up, so we just stayed there and (in my case) continued dancing. We managed to sneak about 40 minutes in before we decided to leave, in case one of the caretakers came back and happened to check the register. ;D
Then later around 6pm, Aimi and I went to Westlake Gardens to jog.
Ok, so we didn't really jog.. More like brisk-walked. =p
But we met Max and Davin there, who were jogging past, and Davin waved and shouted out an "ANNYEONGHASEYO~!" as he jogged past. Lol. I find that so funny and cute. x]
So yeah, I feel great because I exercised, but on the other hand... The food we consumed later probably made our weight no more difference than it originally was. Eek. >_<
When we arrived, however, we saw Chin Eng and the rest of the SRC members (and some other people too) in the studio. They weren't dancing; instead they were sitting in a circle, discussing something. We later found out that they were discussing about the Utar Ball for next semester. Anyways, since they were using the studio, I decided to join Aimi at the gym while waiting. So I used 2 machines... that left my leg shaking by the end of it. :P
After they left, I immediately charged into the studio (ok, maybe not quite.. =B ), and put the Dance Drama CD on while I warmed up. Aimi came in the studio soon after, and joined me dancing for a while. But mostly she just sat and recorded/took photos of me. =3
Our slot was supposed to be from 12.45-2.45, but we entered late (around 1.30), but thankfully, the caretakers of the gym wasn't there when out time was up, so we just stayed there and (in my case) continued dancing. We managed to sneak about 40 minutes in before we decided to leave, in case one of the caretakers came back and happened to check the register. ;D
Then later around 6pm, Aimi and I went to Westlake Gardens to jog.
Ok, so we didn't really jog.. More like brisk-walked. =p
But we met Max and Davin there, who were jogging past, and Davin waved and shouted out an "ANNYEONGHASEYO~!" as he jogged past. Lol. I find that so funny and cute. x]
So yeah, I feel great because I exercised, but on the other hand... The food we consumed later probably made our weight no more difference than it originally was. Eek. >_<
December 04, 2010
I Missed These.
While I was back for to do a write up for my 3rd PhotoJR assignment, I got to spend the whole day at the studio.
And how I've missed it.
The best part? I brought my baby with me. ^^
And by that, I mean my Canon 1000D. x]
So other than the necessary photos I had to take, needless to say, I ended up snapping away that by the end of the day, I took over 150 pictures. So I guess.. It's safe to say that this post will be a picspam? ^^ *points below*
P/S: Of course I'm not gonna upload all 150 pics.. that would kill my internet.
And how I've missed it.
The best part? I brought my baby with me. ^^
And by that, I mean my Canon 1000D. x]
So other than the necessary photos I had to take, needless to say, I ended up snapping away that by the end of the day, I took over 150 pictures. So I guess.. It's safe to say that this post will be a picspam? ^^ *points below*
P/S: Of course I'm not gonna upload all 150 pics.. that would kill my internet.
~END~
November 27, 2010
November 10, 2010
Proof.
I know, I know. I've been horrible for not properly dancing lately. But if this post makes up for it...
You know, I've come to completely realise something.
I mean, I know about it before, but today, I've come to completely be aware of it, and to embrace it as my... 'drug', if you will.
Whenever I'm feeling a little emotional, or when I feel a little down and/or upset because of something, all I need to do is go to my Youtube, watch all the previous videos I've uploaded, and I'll almost immediately feel better.
Mr Gino has always said that when you come for dance/ballet, leave your problems at the door. When you dance, you have to enjoy it, feel it; otherwise it wouldn't look nice. Then when you leave the studio, you can pick your problems back up from the door. Lol. xp I'll always remember that. I miss you, Mr Gino.
But I needn't throw my problems at the door. When I enter the studio, my problems automatically dissolve. I find pleasure in dancing. Even in uni, here, whenever I attend the dance classes, I feel happy. Even if there was a bugging assignment due, I'd momentarily forget about it and just enjoy myself (and then it slaps me in the face later. Hahaha).
Today was such a day. And I happened to be on Youtube, so I just thought of looking back on my past videos. And I feel better now.
You know, I've come to completely realise something.
I mean, I know about it before, but today, I've come to completely be aware of it, and to embrace it as my... 'drug', if you will.
Whenever I'm feeling a little emotional, or when I feel a little down and/or upset because of something, all I need to do is go to my Youtube, watch all the previous videos I've uploaded, and I'll almost immediately feel better.
Mr Gino has always said that when you come for dance/ballet, leave your problems at the door. When you dance, you have to enjoy it, feel it; otherwise it wouldn't look nice. Then when you leave the studio, you can pick your problems back up from the door. Lol. xp I'll always remember that. I miss you, Mr Gino.
But I needn't throw my problems at the door. When I enter the studio, my problems automatically dissolve. I find pleasure in dancing. Even in uni, here, whenever I attend the dance classes, I feel happy. Even if there was a bugging assignment due, I'd momentarily forget about it and just enjoy myself (and then it slaps me in the face later. Hahaha).
Today was such a day. And I happened to be on Youtube, so I just thought of looking back on my past videos. And I feel better now.
The cheering just made me smile. And seeing these people, whom before this we had no idea of their talents; go up and surprise us with their dancing, I think that's really refreshing. ^^
And then there's Zhen Yi's class, which is guaranteed to bring laughter. xD Get well soon, Zhen.
And then, of course, there are the videos that tug at my heartstrings. Such as videos of the old studio, Gino Dance Academy. Videos OF him. They bring back memories, but one that I will never forget and treasure forever. I count myself fortunate to be able to learn under him.
Everyone who knows me knows that I live to dance. I'll die without dance. I'm not even kidding. It's now been a trademark, actually, that whenever Rachel mentions the studio, she knows she'll have my attention. (And I think I've annoyed her several times too with my enthusiasm. =p)
In conclusion, dance is the answer to all my problems. Dance is my drug, my brand of heroin. If I don't get a dose of it for too long, I can't function.
Dance = Life.
And I'm not quitting.
October 31, 2010
I Feel Horrible.
I really, really do.
When was the last time I actually danced?? =_= I mean like, really dance danced. Properly.
Even more so now when I've got gaping blisters on BOTH my ankles. Patiently waiting for both of them to heal properly before I can dance/ put on my ballet shoes again without worrying that they (my wounds) will over stretch and risking them to open up again.
LIKAAAAAAAAA. The next time I come down, promise me we'll dedicate at least and hour to dance Advanced 1 ok?
When was the last time I actually danced?? =_= I mean like, really dance danced. Properly.
Even more so now when I've got gaping blisters on BOTH my ankles. Patiently waiting for both of them to heal properly before I can dance/ put on my ballet shoes again without worrying that they (my wounds) will over stretch and risking them to open up again.
LIKAAAAAAAAA. The next time I come down, promise me we'll dedicate at least and hour to dance Advanced 1 ok?
October 04, 2010
After 4 Months...
I finally went back to the studio! ^^ Late, as per normal (*guilty grin*), but hey, I had a good excuse. Flu the night before, so I wanted to rest in a little more.
And not that I could not go, anyways. I was too excited to see everyone again.
I arrived during Grade 7 - Seow Hui, Penguin, Xing Ying, Kai Hong, Charnita - and, the newest (though not exactly 'new') member, Ice. The most kecoh group. Plus Mahgaret. Thanks to her, everyone calls me Kisstel now, even Dhivya. Fml. x]
After that class, Seow Hui, Mahgaret and I went to Frankie's Sandwich Cafe (who knew that such a heavenly cafe even existed in Kuantan??), because Mahgaret said that she heard that the sandwiches there were delicious with a capital D. So I dumped my lunch which I brought to the studio (rice that daddy bought) for sandwiches.
I'm evil, I know.
I actually have more pictures from Frankie, and I would upload them all, but the photo uploaders are being a retard and I can't seem to upload them. =_="
Anyways.
Not much has changed, only the students whom 4 months before I saw were little munchkins, have now grown taller. I also helped teach Grade 4 (GOD I miss teaching...), and a little of Primary (Iris, Agnes, and Amanda's class).
A little excerpt of the Primary class:
A will be going to the studio again later in the afternoon; and this time, more of the 'old' students will be there. Can't wait! ^^
And not that I could not go, anyways. I was too excited to see everyone again.
I arrived during Grade 7 - Seow Hui, Penguin, Xing Ying, Kai Hong, Charnita - and, the newest (though not exactly 'new') member, Ice. The most kecoh group. Plus Mahgaret. Thanks to her, everyone calls me Kisstel now, even Dhivya. Fml. x]
After that class, Seow Hui, Mahgaret and I went to Frankie's Sandwich Cafe (who knew that such a heavenly cafe even existed in Kuantan??), because Mahgaret said that she heard that the sandwiches there were delicious with a capital D. So I dumped my lunch which I brought to the studio (rice that daddy bought) for sandwiches.
I'm evil, I know.
I actually have more pictures from Frankie, and I would upload them all, but the photo uploaders are being a retard and I can't seem to upload them. =_="
Anyways.
Not much has changed, only the students whom 4 months before I saw were little munchkins, have now grown taller. I also helped teach Grade 4 (GOD I miss teaching...), and a little of Primary (Iris, Agnes, and Amanda's class).
A little excerpt of the Primary class:
A will be going to the studio again later in the afternoon; and this time, more of the 'old' students will be there. Can't wait! ^^
September 24, 2010
I Meant To Post This Earlier...
But I hope it still counts, considering it's already past midnight! =_=
Last night (or rather, the night before), I dreamt that I was teaching young kids ballet again. T_T It's been around 4 months since I've seen them, and I miss them so. The weird thing about the dream, though, is that I was teaching a bunch of kids, maybe around... 6-8 year-olds, ballet in what looked like a hallway of some supermarket. =_= As if that's not weird enough, I also dreamt that I clobbered poor Suzanne Pok for misbehaving. O.o
Um, WHUT.
Last night (or rather, the night before), I dreamt that I was teaching young kids ballet again. T_T It's been around 4 months since I've seen them, and I miss them so. The weird thing about the dream, though, is that I was teaching a bunch of kids, maybe around... 6-8 year-olds, ballet in what looked like a hallway of some supermarket. =_= As if that's not weird enough, I also dreamt that I clobbered poor Suzanne Pok for misbehaving. O.o
Um, WHUT.
September 08, 2010
There will be no title because I don't know what to name this entry.
In fact, I think this will be more of a statement than an entry, because this will be a short one.
Thanks to the technology called 'Facebook' (LOL), I've been able to keep up with my girls from the studio. Needless to say, Mahgaret and Penguin are regular correspondents. x]
Occasionally, I'd chat with my former students Wei Yun, Jo Yee and Xing Wei, though I probably chat with Xing Wei the most. The other day, we happened to chat again. She put a lot of sad smileys, and when I ask her why, she said she missed me 'very very very much', to put it in her words. She asked me to come back soon, so I could see them dance. She also told me that Jo Yee and her had skipped Grade 4 after their Grade 3 exam, and went straight to Grade 5.
What's the point of this post?
Well I just felt that it was nice that although I no longer teach, I'm still regarded as their teacher, and that they haven't forgotten me.
Yeah, I'm a sap. So what? =p
In fact, I think this will be more of a statement than an entry, because this will be a short one.
Thanks to the technology called 'Facebook' (LOL), I've been able to keep up with my girls from the studio. Needless to say, Mahgaret and Penguin are regular correspondents. x]
Occasionally, I'd chat with my former students Wei Yun, Jo Yee and Xing Wei, though I probably chat with Xing Wei the most. The other day, we happened to chat again. She put a lot of sad smileys, and when I ask her why, she said she missed me 'very very very much', to put it in her words. She asked me to come back soon, so I could see them dance. She also told me that Jo Yee and her had skipped Grade 4 after their Grade 3 exam, and went straight to Grade 5.
What's the point of this post?
Well I just felt that it was nice that although I no longer teach, I'm still regarded as their teacher, and that they haven't forgotten me.
Yeah, I'm a sap. So what? =p
August 29, 2010
This Will Be A Short Entry.
Because I just HAD to post this up now, but I can't/don't want to dwell on it too long because I'm currently at the CC, and I"m afraid I'll start bawling my eyes out if I think of it for too long. So here goes.
Remember how all this time, Gino has told mummy how his late wife died giving birth to Mischa? And how he told a different story to one of his sisters, whom told Lika that Gino had 2 other daughters when Lika asked?
Yes.
According to his other sister, they were between 21-25/26, and studying in England..
I called Lika earlier today out of boredom, and found out the truth about it all; Mr Gino never had 'two daughters'. It seemed that the other sister (who was not as close to Gino as Norma was) might have misunderstood. Norma had told Lika that chances were, the 'two daughters' the other sister meant were actually Lika and I. Because it seemed, Mr Gino talked a lot about us. And it would explain the age range. I was around 20-21 at that time, and Lika was 24-25.
Another thing I found out was where Gino had gotten my 'pet' name, 'Crystal Packing Mama'. It was originally a country song titled 'Pistol Packing Mama', and amongst the people who sang it was Willie Nelson. And that was the only version I had time to listen to, in order not to break down in public. He changed the title of the song and put my name instead.
Ok, I think that's enough for now. Just to write this short entry, I had to distract myself (I couldn't stand writing it all at one shot - and had to take a few breaths to calm myself before continuing) several times, then continue.
Before I post this, here's the video of Willie Nelson's version of Pistol Packing Mama.
RIP, Mr Gino. You still make me cry.
Remember how all this time, Gino has told mummy how his late wife died giving birth to Mischa? And how he told a different story to one of his sisters, whom told Lika that Gino had 2 other daughters when Lika asked?
Yes.
According to his other sister, they were between 21-25/26, and studying in England..
I called Lika earlier today out of boredom, and found out the truth about it all; Mr Gino never had 'two daughters'. It seemed that the other sister (who was not as close to Gino as Norma was) might have misunderstood. Norma had told Lika that chances were, the 'two daughters' the other sister meant were actually Lika and I. Because it seemed, Mr Gino talked a lot about us. And it would explain the age range. I was around 20-21 at that time, and Lika was 24-25.
Another thing I found out was where Gino had gotten my 'pet' name, 'Crystal Packing Mama'. It was originally a country song titled 'Pistol Packing Mama', and amongst the people who sang it was Willie Nelson. And that was the only version I had time to listen to, in order not to break down in public. He changed the title of the song and put my name instead.
Ok, I think that's enough for now. Just to write this short entry, I had to distract myself (I couldn't stand writing it all at one shot - and had to take a few breaths to calm myself before continuing) several times, then continue.
Before I post this, here's the video of Willie Nelson's version of Pistol Packing Mama.
RIP, Mr Gino. You still make me cry.
August 16, 2010
Someone Spank Me.
Oh, and get your head outta the gutters, people! I don't mean it like that. ;p
I mean that in a way because I haven't been updating my dance blog.
Which means I haven't been dancing.
Properly, that is.
And, those of you who know me very well know how blur I can be, and how long it takes for the little brain of mine to process things.
Well, said 'little brain' has just realised something, now, almost 2 months after it happened.
I was reading through my posts in my other, more general blog (SGA), and I came across something that made me realise something.
In this post in SGA, I mentioned how I promised that I would join UTAR's Dance Club, first and foremost as a tribute to Mr Gino, and that I would not stop dancing.
Then months later, when I finally managed to join the Dance Club, I was elected Assistant Treasurer at the General Meeting.
Could it be, perhaps, Mr Gino's way of making sure that I kept my promise; that I would not stop dancing? Because although I am only the Assistant Treasurer, I'm still part of the committee nonetheless, meaning that I still have to attend 'meetings', and have a say in decisions made for the Dance Club.
I dunno, I may be thinking too much, and probably have made some of you sick with this whole 'Mr Gino thing'.
But it's just a thought.
And it's not impossible, is it not?
I mean that in a way because I haven't been updating my dance blog.
Which means I haven't been dancing.
Properly, that is.
And, those of you who know me very well know how blur I can be, and how long it takes for the little brain of mine to process things.
Well, said 'little brain' has just realised something, now, almost 2 months after it happened.
I was reading through my posts in my other, more general blog (SGA), and I came across something that made me realise something.
In this post in SGA, I mentioned how I promised that I would join UTAR's Dance Club, first and foremost as a tribute to Mr Gino, and that I would not stop dancing.
Then months later, when I finally managed to join the Dance Club, I was elected Assistant Treasurer at the General Meeting.
Could it be, perhaps, Mr Gino's way of making sure that I kept my promise; that I would not stop dancing? Because although I am only the Assistant Treasurer, I'm still part of the committee nonetheless, meaning that I still have to attend 'meetings', and have a say in decisions made for the Dance Club.
I dunno, I may be thinking too much, and probably have made some of you sick with this whole 'Mr Gino thing'.
But it's just a thought.
And it's not impossible, is it not?
July 30, 2010
Even with my involvement in the dance club...
I can't help missing ballet.
I'm not being ungrateful here. I love that I have a studio to practise in here, and that I can go whenever I want to dance.
But it's not the same, you know?
I miss going for class.
Classes that involve me and my group of friends (LIKA~ I MISS DANCING WITH YOU ) dancing, and having a proper teacher (I'm not saying you student dancers are bad, honestly. Heck, I'll be one of you next semester!) teaching at the front. I haven't had a proper ballet lesson in ages that I fear that my techniques/footwork are all deteriorating. It's been more than half a year that I'm in university now. And for almost 8 months, I haven't been having proper lessons at all.
I want to dance again.
I want to go for classes with Lika, Seow Hui and the rest, and dance for hours and complain about our aching bodies together after class.
I want to feel the ache that comes with a good ballet class again.
I want to go to KL for a one-day class; get excited when I'm on the way to KL, then feel so tired and poofed and sweaty that I start feeling thankful that we're going back when we're in the bus back.
Everytime I watch videos in YouTube of ballet classes, I get glazy-eyed.
Sure, there's always Ms Tham, and even Ms Chua (*shudders*), but nothing can replace Mr Gino's method of teaching. HIs dirty jokes. His 'Classical Thai'. His singing.
I'm not saying that he's the best in the world. He has his faults, but still.
Is there a ballet class anywhere in Kampar?
I'm not being ungrateful here. I love that I have a studio to practise in here, and that I can go whenever I want to dance.
But it's not the same, you know?
I miss going for class.
Classes that involve me and my group of friends (LIKA~ I MISS DANCING WITH YOU ) dancing, and having a proper teacher (I'm not saying you student dancers are bad, honestly. Heck, I'll be one of you next semester!) teaching at the front. I haven't had a proper ballet lesson in ages that I fear that my techniques/footwork are all deteriorating. It's been more than half a year that I'm in university now. And for almost 8 months, I haven't been having proper lessons at all.
I want to dance again.
I want to go for classes with Lika, Seow Hui and the rest, and dance for hours and complain about our aching bodies together after class.
I want to feel the ache that comes with a good ballet class again.
I want to go to KL for a one-day class; get excited when I'm on the way to KL, then feel so tired and poofed and sweaty that I start feeling thankful that we're going back when we're in the bus back.
Everytime I watch videos in YouTube of ballet classes, I get glazy-eyed.
Sure, there's always Ms Tham, and even Ms Chua (*shudders*), but nothing can replace Mr Gino's method of teaching. HIs dirty jokes. His 'Classical Thai'. His singing.
I'm not saying that he's the best in the world. He has his faults, but still.
Is there a ballet class anywhere in Kampar?
June 27, 2010
A Reason To Smile, A Reason To Cry.
I had a great time in the studio today with Ann & Edward. We stayed there for almost 3 hours.
The thing about dancers are, as I found out, they can get ballet in a fair amount of time, because of their dancing background. Regardless of what dance they've done, it's still dancing either way, so from what I've seen, they only have a little trouble getting used to the positions and steps. Max & Edward are perfect examples.
But anyways, we all had a good laugh today. Edward was really diligent; he practised classical walks till he got it right, pirouettes, and pose. He was very disciplined too. I liked that.
The 3 of us teased each other a lot. Ann was in the corner of the studio with the yoga mat, working out. I was teaching Edward ballet. It was quite hilarious, actually. xD And I don't mean that in a bad way, love. xDD
But like everything else, happiness also has it drawbacks: a pool of tears later.
Min Ru & I broke up.
Can't say I didn't see it coming to be honest, though. Still, it hurt nonetheless.
But I'm ok now, and life goes on. Besides, there's the retail therapy to look forward to in a few hours! ^^
You're a genius for suggesting it in the first place, Rachel! =D
The thing about dancers are, as I found out, they can get ballet in a fair amount of time, because of their dancing background. Regardless of what dance they've done, it's still dancing either way, so from what I've seen, they only have a little trouble getting used to the positions and steps. Max & Edward are perfect examples.
But anyways, we all had a good laugh today. Edward was really diligent; he practised classical walks till he got it right, pirouettes, and pose. He was very disciplined too. I liked that.
The 3 of us teased each other a lot. Ann was in the corner of the studio with the yoga mat, working out. I was teaching Edward ballet. It was quite hilarious, actually. xD And I don't mean that in a bad way, love. xDD
But like everything else, happiness also has it drawbacks: a pool of tears later.
Min Ru & I broke up.
Can't say I didn't see it coming to be honest, though. Still, it hurt nonetheless.
But I'm ok now, and life goes on. Besides, there's the retail therapy to look forward to in a few hours! ^^
You're a genius for suggesting it in the first place, Rachel! =D
Oh, and quote of the day:
"A good dancer can dance anywhere;
(he) just blends their body in with the environment. "
June 15, 2010
Um.
Um, wow.
I got elected as Assistant Treasurer of the Dance Club.
Thanks to Rachel who nominated me (you traitor, haha), and Shangaree who seconded *glares*
Even though I told them that I was horrible with money. =_="
Oh well, at least Rachel was elected Chairperson! xD
I got elected as Assistant Treasurer of the Dance Club.
Thanks to Rachel who nominated me (you traitor, haha), and Shangaree who seconded *glares*
Even though I told them that I was horrible with money. =_="
Oh well, at least Rachel was elected Chairperson! xD
June 09, 2010
I Think Too Much.... I Think.
I think I may be thinking too much over this whole 'wanting to see Mr Gino' thingy. Why? Because the day before yesterday, there was a problem with the internet connection (ooh, big surprise.. *sarcasm*), so I couldn't go online. So instead, I decided to play some RAD Ballet songs.
I went to my WMP library, searched the grade I felt like listening to, and pressed play. At first, I thought I heard as if another music was playing in the background. Oh, and I should probably mention that my laptop was on my study desk, right in front of the window. So I approached my laptop to check if I had left any other music on.
Nope.
As I turned, to walk away, though, I thought I heard someone whistling to the music. Eyebrows furrowed, I turned to my laptop again; the faint whistling can still be heard.
Then, as suddenly as the whistling started, it stopped. I shrugged it off as me hearing things, but of course, deep inside, I wanted to believe that it was really Mr Gino whistling. But then I thought, Gino doesn't whistle.. He sings. xD But still.
I didn't think much of it, but now that I do...
I was listening to Grade 5.
Grade 5 was one of the grades where Mr Gino was most relaxed; in other words, yes, he did scold them, but it was one of the classes where he joked around most.
Grade 5 was the grade where, in my opinion, we felt most close to, other than Intermediate/IF.
Was I really imagining things?
I went to my WMP library, searched the grade I felt like listening to, and pressed play. At first, I thought I heard as if another music was playing in the background. Oh, and I should probably mention that my laptop was on my study desk, right in front of the window. So I approached my laptop to check if I had left any other music on.
Nope.
As I turned, to walk away, though, I thought I heard someone whistling to the music. Eyebrows furrowed, I turned to my laptop again; the faint whistling can still be heard.
Then, as suddenly as the whistling started, it stopped. I shrugged it off as me hearing things, but of course, deep inside, I wanted to believe that it was really Mr Gino whistling. But then I thought, Gino doesn't whistle.. He sings. xD But still.
I didn't think much of it, but now that I do...
I was listening to Grade 5.
Grade 5 was one of the grades where Mr Gino was most relaxed; in other words, yes, he did scold them, but it was one of the classes where he joked around most.
Grade 5 was the grade where, in my opinion, we felt most close to, other than Intermediate/IF.
Was I really imagining things?
Yay~ Good News! ^^
I GOT IN THE DANCE CLUUUUBBBBBBBBBB~!!!
That is all. =3 xD
That is all. =3 xD
June 06, 2010
Someone's watching over me...
I'm sorry, this will be another emo post.
I knew since the day of his passing that looking back might be a bad idea. But then again, pretending it never happened and completely forgetting would be more of a sin. But looking back has always brought me to tears.
Things are gonna get really emotional (at least for me) beyond this point, but hey, I thought that if I was gonna do some crying, might as well go full frontal, eh?
He never forgot me. My 2nd-3rd week in Kampar, he messaged me.
P/S: I'm writing the message as it is; spelling and all.
13/01/10.
12.41 PM
"Hi ! Hows groovy Kampar treatng u??
Tried d K.Chick biscoitu ! Careful dont eat
too mch u mite fnd feathrs growng on yor Lips.
Wil mis my kristal packing Mamma.
Take care."
After all these years of writing my name in the receipts, he still couldn't spell my name properly. Oh Gino.. I will always be your 'Kristal packing Mamma'.
13/01/10
12.54 PM
"Ah nevr mind - we love to have u in clas - mite
even 4 yor sake comduct d clas in classial Thai!!!"
Well, we all know that that promise never came to be. What I would give to hear his rubbish Thai one last time..
21/01/10
2.11 PM
"Hi I got hear u got speakng on d fon wth Rokiah n she also got abt yor 3 roomates - 2 archiperlehs n 1 chunglungs n all 3 suffers frm verbal diarrhoea. Also mayb u not com hme 4 CNY - n got say u wept bitterly n yor tears flowng down on yor ample bosom - so sorrow. Oh I'm mortified teachnh C'nita G6 C'ractr - making noncnce of d Syllabus n feel like weepng n let d tears flow dwn my kukuchye.
Seeing 2day at 3.45pm. H...E...L..P"
I've always shook my head over his choice of words.. They were nothing short of dirty, but that was what made us like him. He was open. VERY open at that.
Then one of the times he was sick, he sent Lika a message, which she forwarded to me:
08/11/09
10.40 PM
"Rokia do u think u could manage w/out me 4 another week. I'm improving but very slowly - taking G'seng-Esnce of Chickn. If u feel too stressful its ok I'll cancel my thorough chck-up at d Hosp. Anyway by Tues. I can courous enpointe 2 d'toilette then I'll courous to Puduraya. Sakit mau mati can joke-joke."
I think that this would be the message both Lika and I will be killing ourselves over for, for not taking his sickness seriously.
He has been sick before in the past, so I think it never really crossed our minds how serious it was this time. I'm sorry, Mr Gino. If only we knew.
I have a few other messages from him in my other phone, so maybe I'll save those messages for next time. But until then, I'm still waiting for a sign of some sort that he's up in heaven, still shaking his head and watching over his Kristal packing Mamma.
I knew since the day of his passing that looking back might be a bad idea. But then again, pretending it never happened and completely forgetting would be more of a sin. But looking back has always brought me to tears.
Things are gonna get really emotional (at least for me) beyond this point, but hey, I thought that if I was gonna do some crying, might as well go full frontal, eh?
He never forgot me. My 2nd-3rd week in Kampar, he messaged me.
P/S: I'm writing the message as it is; spelling and all.
13/01/10.
12.41 PM
"Hi ! Hows groovy Kampar treatng u??
Tried d K.Chick biscoitu ! Careful dont eat
too mch u mite fnd feathrs growng on yor Lips.
Wil mis my kristal packing Mamma.
Take care."
After all these years of writing my name in the receipts, he still couldn't spell my name properly. Oh Gino.. I will always be your 'Kristal packing Mamma'.
13/01/10
12.54 PM
"Ah nevr mind - we love to have u in clas - mite
even 4 yor sake comduct d clas in classial Thai!!!"
Well, we all know that that promise never came to be. What I would give to hear his rubbish Thai one last time..
21/01/10
2.11 PM
"Hi I got hear u got speakng on d fon wth Rokiah n she also got abt yor 3 roomates - 2 archiperlehs n 1 chunglungs n all 3 suffers frm verbal diarrhoea. Also mayb u not com hme 4 CNY - n got say u wept bitterly n yor tears flowng down on yor ample bosom - so sorrow. Oh I'm mortified teachnh C'nita G6 C'ractr - making noncnce of d Syllabus n feel like weepng n let d tears flow dwn my kukuchye.
Seeing 2day at 3.45pm. H...E...L..P"
I've always shook my head over his choice of words.. They were nothing short of dirty, but that was what made us like him. He was open. VERY open at that.
Then one of the times he was sick, he sent Lika a message, which she forwarded to me:
08/11/09
10.40 PM
"Rokia do u think u could manage w/out me 4 another week. I'm improving but very slowly - taking G'seng-Esnce of Chickn. If u feel too stressful its ok I'll cancel my thorough chck-up at d Hosp. Anyway by Tues. I can courous enpointe 2 d'toilette then I'll courous to Puduraya. Sakit mau mati can joke-joke."
I think that this would be the message both Lika and I will be killing ourselves over for, for not taking his sickness seriously.
He has been sick before in the past, so I think it never really crossed our minds how serious it was this time. I'm sorry, Mr Gino. If only we knew.
I have a few other messages from him in my other phone, so maybe I'll save those messages for next time. But until then, I'm still waiting for a sign of some sort that he's up in heaven, still shaking his head and watching over his Kristal packing Mamma.
June 05, 2010
Disappointing? Uh oh.
Lika messaged me this morning and told me that the Bridal performance last night was slightly disappointing.
The students forgot steps, and the stage layout didn't help much either. It was weirdly built, slightly too low, resulting in the kids getting distracted.
>____<
I know they're little and all, but they've performed several times before and they've got through it.
Hmm.
The students forgot steps, and the stage layout didn't help much either. It was weirdly built, slightly too low, resulting in the kids getting distracted.
>____<
I know they're little and all, but they've performed several times before and they've got through it.
Hmm.
May 31, 2010
Performance practises again
I feel sorry that I wouldn't be able to be there for their performance next week.
Things have changed so much since I left. There are so many new students, and it feels like I'm the one who has to get to know them now, not the other way round.
Yes, they still call me 'teacher', but I feel so disconnected to them now. I don't teach them anymore; Seow Hui does. She's become one of the real teachers, while I'm just someone who comes in when I happen to be on break. I used to 'freelance', if you will, though not anymore. I was gone for 5 months, and already there are so many new faces.
They warm up to me pretty quickly though, but that's not the point.
I want to teach again. I want to be able to reconnect with them, and rebuild that rapport. Now, they only see me a few times, and I'm gone again. I come and go. I want to somewhat be a permanent teacher in these students' lives.
I miss it.
'Teaching' Max (and now Edward) are not the same, although fun nonetheless. It's bittersweet when you leave them, then come back to find how much they've grown in that short period of time. I almost feel.. motherly about it.
Dammit.
*cough* Now that I've emo-ed enough, on to the videos and pictures^^
Things have changed so much since I left. There are so many new students, and it feels like I'm the one who has to get to know them now, not the other way round.
Yes, they still call me 'teacher', but I feel so disconnected to them now. I don't teach them anymore; Seow Hui does. She's become one of the real teachers, while I'm just someone who comes in when I happen to be on break. I used to 'freelance', if you will, though not anymore. I was gone for 5 months, and already there are so many new faces.
They warm up to me pretty quickly though, but that's not the point.
I want to teach again. I want to be able to reconnect with them, and rebuild that rapport. Now, they only see me a few times, and I'm gone again. I come and go. I want to somewhat be a permanent teacher in these students' lives.
I miss it.
'Teaching' Max (and now Edward) are not the same, although fun nonetheless. It's bittersweet when you leave them, then come back to find how much they've grown in that short period of time. I almost feel.. motherly about it.
Dammit.
*cough* Now that I've emo-ed enough, on to the videos and pictures^^
May 27, 2010
Argh, memories makes me wanna cry. T^T
Yesterday, I went to the old studio. Lika said she had wanted to clear some stuff up (in addition to asking me some stuff about computers; that woman is self-proclaimed computer illiterate xD)
I took a video from the staircase and recorded a footage of the entire studio. To be honest (and I know how crazy this is gonna sound), I was kinda hoping that when I re-watched the recorded footage, that I would somehow see Mr Gino's ghost or apparition or something in the footage. I've been wanting to see him for quite a while now. I don't normally wish to see ghosts, but this time, it's exceptional.
I want to see the ghost or apparition of the man who has seen me grow up; who has seen me progress as a dancer, and whom was literally my 2nd father. I want to see him, thank him, and say a proper goodbye. I want to let him know all that's been happening, although chances are, he already knows. Lika said Norma and her have had signs that perhaps Gino was watching over them. I've yet to feel these 'feelings' or see the signs. Which is why I'm dying for him to show up so I can say a few last words to him. The last I saw him was before I went to Kampar.
If I had known, I would have hugged him.
If I had known, I would have told him then how thankful I was for everything he's done these past 17 years. I'd tell him to speak to me in 'Classical Thai' one last time, and hear perhaps one last dirty joke.
There are so many things left unsaid, so many things to tell.
He was gone too soon.
And now, Norma, Mischa and Lika have agreed to close down the old studio.
The studio I grew up learning ballet in; the place I've been going to for classes for 17 years.
The place I took nearly 6 exams in.
It's gonna be hard saying goodbye to that place.
This Friday (tomorrow, in fact), Lika and I planned a gathering in Gino's studio. Lika already warned that chances are, we're gonna need some tissues. I'm hoping that (as cliche as it may sound,) during that time when most of us will be gathered at the studio together, that Gino will appear before us, then we can maybe each say something to him. But then again, we might be too busy crying to even speak coherently.
Oh wells.
Anyway, here's the vid I took.
I took a video from the staircase and recorded a footage of the entire studio. To be honest (and I know how crazy this is gonna sound), I was kinda hoping that when I re-watched the recorded footage, that I would somehow see Mr Gino's ghost or apparition or something in the footage. I've been wanting to see him for quite a while now. I don't normally wish to see ghosts, but this time, it's exceptional.
I want to see the ghost or apparition of the man who has seen me grow up; who has seen me progress as a dancer, and whom was literally my 2nd father. I want to see him, thank him, and say a proper goodbye. I want to let him know all that's been happening, although chances are, he already knows. Lika said Norma and her have had signs that perhaps Gino was watching over them. I've yet to feel these 'feelings' or see the signs. Which is why I'm dying for him to show up so I can say a few last words to him. The last I saw him was before I went to Kampar.
If I had known, I would have hugged him.
If I had known, I would have told him then how thankful I was for everything he's done these past 17 years. I'd tell him to speak to me in 'Classical Thai' one last time, and hear perhaps one last dirty joke.
There are so many things left unsaid, so many things to tell.
He was gone too soon.
And now, Norma, Mischa and Lika have agreed to close down the old studio.
The studio I grew up learning ballet in; the place I've been going to for classes for 17 years.
The place I took nearly 6 exams in.
It's gonna be hard saying goodbye to that place.
This Friday (tomorrow, in fact), Lika and I planned a gathering in Gino's studio. Lika already warned that chances are, we're gonna need some tissues. I'm hoping that (as cliche as it may sound,) during that time when most of us will be gathered at the studio together, that Gino will appear before us, then we can maybe each say something to him. But then again, we might be too busy crying to even speak coherently.
Oh wells.
Anyway, here's the vid I took.
May 24, 2010
We Want Nobody, Nobody But Chu~
I went to the studio today to help out with the dances for the upcoming bridal performance in ECM. Which, unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to attend because I'll be back in Kampar by then.
When I arrived, I could hear Nobody blasting from the speakers, and the children's synchronized clapping. I smiled to myself; I could even hear some of them singing along. No wonder the music sounded so loud - Seow Hui was teaching them outside the studio; in the hallway. Most of them smiled when they saw me, and I went to help Seow Hui with teaching.
The dance was very easy to follow; after all, she had to choreograph a dance that Luvena would be able to follow.
When Seow Hui asked those who still weren't sure of the dance to come out and teach them separately, she asked me to handle the rest. When she left, the girls who knew me, Gina, especially, eagerly moved forward and I heard a distinct 'yay~' somewhere.
Well, I don't have much to write about, so I'll let the pictures and videos do the talking, yes?
When I arrived, I could hear Nobody blasting from the speakers, and the children's synchronized clapping. I smiled to myself; I could even hear some of them singing along. No wonder the music sounded so loud - Seow Hui was teaching them outside the studio; in the hallway. Most of them smiled when they saw me, and I went to help Seow Hui with teaching.
The dance was very easy to follow; after all, she had to choreograph a dance that Luvena would be able to follow.
When Seow Hui asked those who still weren't sure of the dance to come out and teach them separately, she asked me to handle the rest. When she left, the girls who knew me, Gina, especially, eagerly moved forward and I heard a distinct 'yay~' somewhere.
Well, I don't have much to write about, so I'll let the pictures and videos do the talking, yes?
May 23, 2010
We Meet Again.
I went to Lika's studio at almost 3pm. I was supposed to come at 2pm for Inter, but the Killpest people came, and my lazy ass caused me to only arrive around 3pm.
When I arrived, Kathrina, Kai Hong, Seow Hui, Jermaine, Wan Hui and Xing Ying were at the barre, doing Intermediate. I sat out until after their class, when we did a little of Advanced 1. And I DO mean a little. We just did the barre work, skipping Battemend Lend and Fouette & Rotations. That itself already made me sweat quite badly.
Kathrina, principle of the PAD (Penguin Academy of Dance), created an easier alternative for Ronds de Jambe with Pirouettes. The part where you have to do a double pirouette, you just wait there, then changement to the other direction at the last count.
I wish PAD really existed.
Later on, before Pre-primary, Lika, Seow Hui and I went down to the sundry shop downstairs to but a couple of snacks to munch. And to be honest, there goes my weight.
I gained 2kgs the 2 weeks I was in Kampar after study week, because I ate so much. I lost 1 kg after coming back here, after finding out about my weight gain and attempting to control my food intake. Worked so far; I still have another kg to lose (or more, not complaining...), but I haven't weighed myself after the snack indulgence today.
Almost afraid to.
Then at around 7, Gina's group came, along with Sonia & Sophia the 2 from Hong Lee; Megan and Michelle. Esther seemed less lively than the last I saw her; where else Irene and Gina were their usual talkative and lively selves. They were all doing the new syllabus by now, the pre-primary and primary. It was interesting to watch them do something else other than the usual, almost-boring-to-look-at pp and primary work.
Hmm. I wish they would change the other syllabus' too. To slightly easier, of course.
When I arrived, Kathrina, Kai Hong, Seow Hui, Jermaine, Wan Hui and Xing Ying were at the barre, doing Intermediate. I sat out until after their class, when we did a little of Advanced 1. And I DO mean a little. We just did the barre work, skipping Battemend Lend and Fouette & Rotations. That itself already made me sweat quite badly.
Kathrina, principle of the PAD (Penguin Academy of Dance), created an easier alternative for Ronds de Jambe with Pirouettes. The part where you have to do a double pirouette, you just wait there, then changement to the other direction at the last count.
I wish PAD really existed.
Later on, before Pre-primary, Lika, Seow Hui and I went down to the sundry shop downstairs to but a couple of snacks to munch. And to be honest, there goes my weight.
I gained 2kgs the 2 weeks I was in Kampar after study week, because I ate so much. I lost 1 kg after coming back here, after finding out about my weight gain and attempting to control my food intake. Worked so far; I still have another kg to lose (or more, not complaining...), but I haven't weighed myself after the snack indulgence today.
Almost afraid to.
Then at around 7, Gina's group came, along with Sonia & Sophia the 2 from Hong Lee; Megan and Michelle. Esther seemed less lively than the last I saw her; where else Irene and Gina were their usual talkative and lively selves. They were all doing the new syllabus by now, the pre-primary and primary. It was interesting to watch them do something else other than the usual, almost-boring-to-look-at pp and primary work.
Hmm. I wish they would change the other syllabus' too. To slightly easier, of course.
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